whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The beer is more important than you right now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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