So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
