Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
