She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
