I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
