Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
