Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its not stalking. its research.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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