We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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