If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
