But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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