after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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