it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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