I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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