Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm bleeding and have questions
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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