Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
