that's an acceptable place to lick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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