Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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