Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
