she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
