How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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