So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
