at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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