blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
