Someone shit on the floor
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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