its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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