And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
