I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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