ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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