and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
