Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
