And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
