I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
