So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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