I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
