Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have already put on my inside pants.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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