hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
