so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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