Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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