Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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