I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
