I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
