Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
