If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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