He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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