I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
