There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
