Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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