nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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