Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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