Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize