I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
