i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
