You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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