don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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