He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
