he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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