so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
