Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
