If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
