I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
