JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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