you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
