I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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