By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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