her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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