I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
